Knowing your own reason is critically important. There are many reasons we may want an apology (or know that we need to offer one). Often, a better understanding of the internal triggers of the individuals can be revealed and behavior adjusted. If the heat of the moment is too fresh and shared, it can be wise to tell the offended person that an apology could be possible if both are willing to participate in some form of conflict resolution, such as mediation, where you can further discuss both of your needs, interests, emotions, and behaviors. The moment the language shifts from “I” to “you” statements, the apology is moving to blame the other person and the apology will backfire and escalate the conflict. Sincerity is expressed by what you say, how you say it, and the body language you use. In these cases, it is best to not try the apology.Īn inadequate or insincere apology can feel dismissive to the offended party and may heighten conflict. Generally, I find that at least 80% of these interactions are insincere acts of getting out of the hot seat. This has become common because the urban legend of water coolers is that if I say I am sorry, the recipient is required to forgive. If an apology does not feel sincere, it can further damage the relationship. The latter executives restore order by owning their own foibles. Rather, many executive continue to see it as an act of weaknesses instead of an act of courage. I am not sure that going to the next step of understanding and being willing to apologize for misbehavior has become a generally accepted trait of most senior executives. Gaining such awareness and development of EQ has become a staple of leadership development. If they suffer from low EQ and more importantly low understanding of impact on others, they can create distrust throughout the organization. For example, executives can get caught in a dilemma when their internal dynamics spill onto the employees. Whether you are requesting an apology or considering giving one, it is important to realize that a thoughtful apology can mend a relationship while a thoughtless one may cause further conflict.Īn apology delayed may be an opportunity lost that can destroy the relationship. It says that you share values regarding appropriate behavior towards each other, that you have regrets when you don’t behave according to those values (intentionally or unintentionally), and that you will make greater efforts to live up to your shared standards of behavior. As indicated in the two prior newslettesr, trust requires a deep sense of integrity based on doing the “right things.” An apology can often be the first step to better understanding in a damaged relationship. Why Apologize?Ī critical component of all relationships is trust. They may hope that an apology from the person who caused them harm will restore dignity, trust, and a sense of justice. People who have been hurt or humiliated often hope for an apology.
The Power of Apologies “All I want is an apology!”
COACH FELT DISRESPECTED BY HANDSHAKER FREE
It's free and the link is below.Īlso, Jackie, my wife, and I are doing a week long retreat for executives on the Blacktail Ranch, in Wolf Creek Montana in September. I've updated and revised the original article.Ī reminder: I am doing a visioning webinar for the Society of Learning Organization's (SOL) this month.
COACH FELT DISRESPECTED BY HANDSHAKER HOW TO
Over the years, I've referred to it for more than one client as I often discovered how little many clients understand about when and how to apologize. A number of years ago, I wrote an article on apologies.
0 kommentar(er)
